American Gladiators (SNES)

We've got a slightly different version of Hit it or Quit it today.  This will be at little something I call Sloppy Seconds.  Generally, there are so many games out there that I've never seen, that I can run a Hit it or Quit it on a completely blind run.  A Sloppy Seconds review will be something that I have seen reviewed or played elsewhere.  In this case, I have already seen Continue play this game, so I kind of know what to expect.

Sloppy Seconds

Year: 1991 -- Developer: Incredible Technologies -- Publisher: Gametek

Through the grapevine:
Continue seemed to have a little fun with this game, but overall, it seemed confusing and hard to play.  I remember watching the show quite a bit, but not enough to know the Gladiators names or anything.  During the intro, there is a picture with them all that has some pretty good detail.  They look familiar, but I have no idea who is who.. or even who is a man or woman in some cases.

I'm expecting clunky controls and a cheating CPU, which might be for fun with other people like Continue had.  By myself, I'm not expecting this to last long.

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Fooled around for:  20 minutes
It was indeed about what I expected.  It's so hard to play, it just isn't fun.  It was almost fun, and I really tried to like it.  The games on the show always seemed super cool, so it sounds like a great idea to be able to play them in a game, but it just doesn't work that way.  My thumbs hurt from trying to hold the buttons and press them as the game expects them to be pressed.  Part of the problem is that it doesn't tell you what it wants from you, so the first couple times you happen to play any particular game, you just suck because you are trying to figure out what the hell to do.  Some games use certain buttons that would make sense in another game as well, but they seem to have decided to mix it up every game.  By the time you do figure it out, you're just tired of playing it.

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Hit it or Quit it?
This idea is really cool, and if the show was still on and they tried again on newer systems, it might be cool.  This version, not so much.  Quit it like these female Gladiators quit being women.

Alien vs. Predator (SNES)

Hit it or Quit it?

Year: 1993 -- Developer: Activision -- Publisher: Activision

First impression:
Like the last review, I know nothing about this movie except that most people seem to think I should have seen it.  Intro storyboard screens.  Aliens attacked humans, humans called for help, the call fell upon the predator.  I'm guessing platformer again, like Alien 3.

WHOOOOA, beat 'em up.  Really?? WTF.  Looks cheesy as hell, but it's definitely a beat 'em up.  Looks look sticky controls and repetition.  Not expecting much, but maybe it will surprise me.. like an alien popping out of a chest.. or something.

Also, the music is super annoying.  I can't tell if it's supposed to be the movie music, but it's just shrill, and when it's not shrill, it's repetitive.

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Fooled around for: 10 minutes
For the Predator supposedly being such a badass, in this game, he just sucks ass.  The game starts as soon as you press start, no lead-in, just a sampling of the three power-ups you can get.  One is a projectile blade thing, one is generic meat-on-bone and the other third might be the worst power-up I've ever seen.  So the predator is supposed to be awesome and go stealth, right?  Well, that's the power up, except all it does is make it so you can't even see your own sprite to fight with.  WTF!  It's more like a power down.

What a great idea!  

The controls are even worse than I anticipated.  If you are button mashing, as you tend to in games like this, you can't even turn around until you seriously just stop pressing the button for a second.  The combos are clunky, the other pick-up weapons suck.  You can start a grab by either pressing X or just standing next to them, so right as you think you are going to hit that sweet combo, you just stop and grab them and stare at them.

I tried the Continue method of Always Be Jump-kicking, and it definitely doesn't work in this game.  In a startling turn of events, the CPU enemies actually know this tactic and use it relentlessly.  And they have a longer reach than you, so they can hit you before you even get to them.

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Hit it or Quit it?
I already don't like beat 'em ups that much, unless it's really breaking the standard mold somehow, but this one not only makes me like them less, but I also don't want to see the movie.  Quit it with stealth on so it doesn't see me leaving in the morning.

Alien 3 (SNES)

Hit it or Quit it?

Year: 1993 -- Developer: Probe -- Publisher:  Acclaim

From across the room:
I have never seen any of the Alien movies, so I have no idea what to expect with the story, let alone with the game.  There's actually an intro cinematic, not that it's helping much.  It's space.  And there's an alien on the ship.  The music is trying to be epic.  There's some bald guy.  While it's going.. my guess is that this will be something like a side-scrolling platform shooter.  Looks like the intro is done, so let's find out.

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Fooled around for: 8 minutes
Hey look at that, I was right.  Side-scrolling platform shooter.  This is my excited face.  It almost seemed cool at first because the first thing I realized is that I have a flamethrower.  Then I realized I could walk up to a computer terminal and use it.  This is how you select your mission.  There seems to be several, and I wanted to know what they all were, but it took so long to watch the mission information display everything, I just couldn't stand waiting through it.  I looked at one that showed there were hostages to save, and one where there were cracked pipes that needed to be fixed.  I chose to save the hostages and off I went.  To find that you only get to see the map at the terminal, and it looks so generic, it's hard to even tell what it's showing you.  Then you can just go into all kinds of random doors and get lost.

Like I said, I haven't seen Alien, but is GI Jane in it, because this game makes it look like she is.  There are a bunch of little aliens running around, and it's fun to burn them to death, but that's about it.  Running is not fun, jumping is not fun, saving hostages is not fun.  Fire is fun.. but then you run out of ammo and it's not so fun.

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Hit it or Quit it?
Overall, I just don't care enough about this franchise to try to figure out what is going on.  There could be a decent game underneath, if it was given some patience, but patience I do not have.  Quit it.

Alcahest (SNES)

Hit it or Quit it?

Year: 1993 -- Developer: Hal Laboratory -- Publisher: Square

First impression:
Square!  And Hal!  No wonder this got translated.  Yes, this is my first foray into a translated game.  Since I'm assuming it's an RPG, I'm not sure how long I will actually play it for Hit it or Quit It since I don't really plan to get into it that much.  7th Saga worked out pretty well though, so maybe this will too.  Just seeing those names, and hearing this pretty awesome title screen music makes me wonder if this might even be a long-term game in the future.  There's no demo screens or anything, so who knows how this is going to go.  Being worthy of translation might be a good sign too though!

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Fooled around for: 25 minutes
It turned to not only be an RPG, but actually an action RPG!  Totally wasn't expecting that, and almost instantly bumped my rating up to Hit it.  Aside from a few text glitches on what look to be some type of Chapter screens, I couldn't even tell it was translated.  The script is just about as lame and cheesy as all of this era of games were, and it was awesome.

The music is a little lamer than I was hoping, especially running the same song over and over while you are getting through it.  And the controls are just a little bit sticky considering the amount of enemies and the angles at which they come at you.  Besides this, it was just straight-forward enough to not have to think, but fun enough to play so I didn't get bored with it.  It's actually hard to stop playing, since it was just starting to get good. I just got some fire guy as a partner and he's supposed to team up with me.  Being on the early side, it seems the leveling has something left to be desired, and the item system is a little weird, but it also may get better later on.  The graphics are pretty good for trying to be detailed considering it's on the SNES in 1993.

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Hit it or Quit it?
I wouldn't be surprised if it gets annoyingly hard later on, but for now, I would definitely hit again.  This may actually be one that I try to play for a longer style review.  I will actually create a new tag for Callbacks, because I think I'm going to want to take another go at this in the future.  Thinking back, I'm not sure I would even retro-fit any other reviews with a Callback.  This game is breaking all sorts of new ground for me!

Double Teamed - Power Rangers Zeo: Battle Racers (SNES)

Year: 1996 -- Developer: Natsume -- Publisher: Bandai

4th and final game for this series of Double Teaming!

From across the room:
Considering all of the other games we've been playing didn't have demo screens, we didn't even wait for this one to find out.  Let's just get it started.  We are expecting something between Mario Kart and Battle Cars.. but with Power Rangers.. but since it's Zeo, no putties :(

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Played for: 20 minutes

Hit it or Quit it?
Putties wouldn't have really made this game any better.  It turned out to be a scary close rip-off of Mario Kart.  Most of the same modes, tracks looked similar, even some of the sounds were very close.  For being so late in the SNES life, I kind of had hoped for this to somehow be awesome.   Unfortunately, it was just generic and same-y.  It might have even been better if it wasn't Power Rangers.  There was no reason for it to have been Power Rangers.. but I guess that's what happens when you try to put a franchise on top of something totally unrelated like a battle racing game.

Considering how awesome Mario Kart got later, making the original suck, I'd still rather just go play that.  Quit it.

Double Teamed - Dream TV (SNES)

Year: 1994 -- Developer: BITS -- Publisher: Triffix

3rd game Double Teamed!

From across the room:
Somehow, we happened to pick a bunch of games that just don't have demo screens, so who knows how this is going to be.  With a name like Dream TV, we can't even guess.  They would rather show the credits during the title screen than show us what we can expect during the game.

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Played for: 15 minutes

Hit it or Quit it?
I guess we got sucked into the TV and were trying to collect puzzle pieces to get out?  The coolest part about this game was the way the "camera" worked with two players, and even then, it had it's moments of suck.  You start in the same place, so the camera just takes the whole screen, but as you walk apart from each other to explore, the screen just splits horizontally, so it can track you each separately.  Pretty cool effect, except for when you are just far enough to get the screen split because one of you ends up disappearing as it gets ready to split, and then there is just a weird, uneasy feeling from seeing the screen split by just a little.  Looks way better when you get far enough away from each other.

The controls sucked though. It's a platformer, except it's hard to actually jump from place to place.  The graphics are hideous, and the music isn't any better.

Dream TV?  More like Nightmare TV, amirite???  Quit it.

Double Teamed - Battle Cars (SNES)

Year: 1993  Developer: Namco

Another game double teamed with my brother!

From across the room:
Again, there seems to be no demo screen, so we are left guessing what is going to happen.  The cars on the title screen look pretty hardcore, so maybe this will actually be pretty cool.  We figure it's going to be something along the lines of Rock 'n' Roll Racing, but probably not with the crazy isometric view.

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Played for: 20 minutes

Hit it or Quit it?
There were cars.. there was battling.. but there was a lot left to be desired.  It actually looked a lot like Mario Kart, except with after Mario Kart had been on Crystal Meth for a few years and was living on the streets.  It started suddenly, with no lead-in, and I guess we were battling each other.  Just after we finally figured out what was going on, it was over, and we were awarded credits.  Oh, cool, so we earn money to buy upgrades?  Sweet.  And it actually was sweet for me, because I was awarded so much money for winning the head to head.  For my brother though, he could barely buy anything.  After this, it wasn't so much two player, as it was one player.. twice.  I Battled Raced the "boss", then my brother got the chance.  Then we got more credits.  Well, I got more credits.  Because my brother didn't get so much money the first round, he wasn't as powerful, and couldn't keep up with the boss as well.  After two more sets of this, we realized it was quickly getting unbalanced.  I won more because I started strong, and he couldn't catch up because he didn't have the power to do so.

Unlike Mario Kart, the tracks all looked the same.  They could have all been the same, for all we could tell.  There was almost no HUD.  Just a few numbers for "speed" and for how far in front or behind you were from the boss.

Eh, this is already getting too long for what I'm shooting for here.  I need to learn to focus on the game, and not the experience.

Graphics, meh.  Upgrading, nice thought, but just didn't work that well.  Music, annoying.  Fun, almost was, but then wasn't.  Quit it.

Double Teamed - Brawl Brothers (SNES)

Year: 1993 -- Developer/Publisher: Jaleco

So this is a first for this blog:  I doubled teamed a game with my brother today.  Went all Family Style on it.  Other than breaking the continuity of my playlist, and handing picking a few games that were 2-player, the format is the same.  We play a game for a fairly short amount of time, make some judgments based on this short amount of time, and move on.

Also.. There's pictures!  There may not always be, but I hope to at least catch the title screen and other funny/interesting shots.

From Across The Room:
We waited and waited for a demo mode, or some other splash screens or something, and nothing.  Apparently the game does not think we need to know anything about it before hand.  Based on the name, we guess it's likely to be a side-scrolling beat-em-up.  Watch it be a Airplane Simulator...

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Played for:  15 minutes

Hit it or Quit it?
Well, it wasn't a Flight Sim.  I guess it was a beat-em-up.  Well, it was.  But, considering how many are out there, this was definitely just another generic beat-em-up.  Walk, walk, punch, punch, jump-kick, special, repeat.  I've never had much patience for these in general because from Final Fight to The Simpsons Arcade Game, they all just seem the same.  Pick a big, slow fighter or a small quick fighter.  Pick up items and weapons, and just beat up repeating enemies, and super hard bosses.  I don't know what I'm expecting for there to be different for me to be interesting. Maybe some of the extra elements that games like River City Ransom have.. Get money, purchase items, leveling.  Just something else.  Even if I was going to play something as standard as this, I would end up playing something "classic" like Final Fight or Double Dragon.

As for this game though, it is was it is, and that's about it.  Graphics are okay.  A couple characters look like rip-offs from Street Fighter:  Huge, beefy Ryu and Black M.Bison (see picture below).  The music caused anxiety and was pretty annoying.  The graphics were pretty standard for one of these, but I would say excelled slightly in the animations.  Rip-off Ryu's normal punchpunchpunchpunch combo actually had about 5 frames of different poses to it.  Also, there was a button labeled "?" in the Control Options that turned out to be some weird pose.  Caught a couple screencaps of those too, for what it's worth.

Past that, quit it.  Even double-teamed, this just wasn't that fun.  Too generic when there are other games like this to play that might even feel a little more fulfilling.

Angry Mode??

Rip-off Ryu rocking the devil horns!

Black M.Bison eating chicken.. of course!

Aerobiz Supersonic - SNES

Year: 1994
Publisher: Koei

First glance:
The intro graphics have at least already been improved.  The music is actually pretty catchy too.  Actually, wow.. I'm really liking this song.  If this were an RPG, I would be super excited to hear the rest of the score. Unfortunately, I'm thinking this is going to be the only song I hear.  No other demo screens or anything, so I have no idea what to expect, except for more of the same as the last game, except different.  Maybe new planes.. maybe a more streamlined interface.. who knows.  Guess it's time to find out.  Gonna try to not get sucked in as bad as the first game, but I also want to give it a solid comparison.  We'll see!

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Played for:  25 minutes

I gotta stop myself before I get sucked in for hours.  I really don't generally like management games because I'm impatient and things take too long to happen, but there's something about this one that just catches me.  Maybe it's because I'm playing it on easy and I'm dominating in the first year.  I only just figured out how to change the continent you are focused on though, so I was really just beefing up North America.  From here out, managing the costs of going international would probably get more sticky, and possibly frustrating.  I have huge income from NA right now, but I think I need to cut into those flights to move them international.  Look at me geeking out about flight business sim strats.  WTF.  Anyways...

It's about what I expected.  More of the same, but a few new features.  Even the action icons are just the same.  The graphics are nicer though.  And the awesome music pretty much did carry over, but since you end up on the same screen so long, it gets old.  And the main actions screen sounds like Tears In Heaven.  Not sure what's up with that.

Hit it or Quit it?
Oddly enough, I would probably actually hit it again.  I'm almost interested enough to run a whole game and see how it plays out. On the other hand, it would take forever.  Maybe actually saving a game and coming back to it a few times would be worth it, but would run the risk of losing your flow.  I don't know.  I probably won't come back to it, but the next time I'm itching for Simcity, I may just try this again instead!

Aerobiz - SNES

Year: 1992
Publisher: KOEI

First Glance:
The intro screens include a bunch of copyright information for a bunch of airplanes.  And the intro scene looks like a flight simulator.  I don't think I've ever loaded this up before, but I think I heard somewhere, it's like a Flight Business Sim?  Managing flights/planes/airports?  The only other stuff happening is some still shots of photos that have been "dumbed down" to SNES quality.  And the music is kind of cool.  Sounds like an airplane game.  I have no idea what else to expect though!

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Played for:  40 minutes (!?)

Now that my brain is sufficiently melted, it's time to call it good.  I really can't believe I even played a game like this for that long.  I generally don't have the patience.  Especially for a business I know nothing about, and really don't care about.  And for a game that doesn't tell you shit about how to play or anything about it. This definitely was a game that needed the manual.

It turns out I was right, it's a Airplane Business Manager Simulation.  Lots of factors, lots of boring numbers, but I did fight my way through the menus and figured quite a bit out.  I even ended up "first" with in 2 years, but my expenses are now still costing more than my sales, and I don't care enough anymore to try to figure it out.  I did have a pretty good run though, I thought.

The music is catchy, but gets old and repetitive.  The main screen's graphics are lame, but the animations and graphics that pop up now and then are kind of cool.  Overall, it definitely take patience, first to learn even what to do, and then to keep playing.  I have no idea how long it runs, except at the beginning you can choose between two timespans.  Both looked about 15 years, so probably about that.  The second span went to 2015 though.  I wanted to try that, but considering it took this long to get through a couple years, I don't know if I would last until The Future anyways.

Hit it or Quit it?
While it surprisingly sucked me in for longer than I anticipated, I would ultimately quit it.  I just don't have the patience for this stuff.  For the 3 people ever who are into Flight Business Management Games, this is probably awesome for you, since it fills that need like nothing else probably does.  For everyone else, and for me, there just isn't enough oomph behind it.  It was cool being in first, but I can't say it was because I knew what I was doing.  The catch is.. there's a sequel.. that I'm supposed to be playing next.  I'm not sure what else they can do to the genre, but I guess I'll find out!

Aero the Acro-bat 2 - SNES

Year: 1994
Developer: Iguana
Publisher: Sunsoft

Looks like the first game was popular enough, since this next one came out the next year.  I'm not sure what everyone saw in it, but we'll see how this next one goes.  Same people involved, it looks like.  Hopefully it's not just a remapping of the same engine..  Ah, yes.. Then Aero was on the Sunsoft Logo.  Maybe there was really just no other good games at the time, so this looked best in comparison.  Maybe I didn't give the first enough time.  Likely, but oh well.  I'm not here to give games adequate time.  There are too many of them!  Anyways.. Demo screen looks pretty similar to the first.  Definitely upgraded the graphics.  The sprites are all bigger on the screen.  Looks like controls are a little smoother though, but I've thought that before.

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Worth mentioning first, since I haven't officially started:  There's a mini game in the options.  Odd..  It's a shuffle-the-cups game.  Pretty easy, but still.  I'm guess it's to practice for when it happens in the main game.. Doubt I'll get that far though :p

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Played for:  25 minutes

Well, this one definitely kept me playing for longer than most of the games have been.  It's wayyy better than the first.  It's actually so much better, I almost would want to go back and fight through the first one just to appreciate this one that much more.  It starts with a story, which the first is lacking in the game.  It looks like there's some evil clown named Ektor.  That's about all I know.  Except that you think you beat him in the first game, but he ends up saved, and that's where this next game picks up.  Except the graphics are way better, the controls are way smoother, and everything just plays great.  You can attack things with your "drill move" (which I have found it is called).  I'm guessing you can do that in the first one too, which would make things easier, so I may have give that one a Booty Call sometime and take another run at it.

The levels are so interesting in this one so far.  Lots of hidden side tunnels, lots of fun platforming elements, and with the controls feeling tighter, it's really making for a good game so far.  Not good enough to just keep playing right now, but good enough to maybe come back again some day.

Hit it or Quit it?
Hit it, even if I hit the first one first just to make sure I wasn't missing something.  Otherwise, screw the story, this one is way more fun, and I would for sure come back for this one.

Aero the Acro-bat - SNES

Year: 1993
Developer: Iguana
Publisher: Sunsoft

I'm pretty sure I have played this before, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't for very long.  I don't remember if it was because it was bad, or just because I don't play games very long.  If I remember correctly, it's just a collect things platformer, with some gliding because you're a bat?   Seeing the demo now, the graphics are actually not quite as smooth as I was expecting.  Maybe I was thinking the sequel, or the Genesis version or something.  Otherwise.. yeah.  You're a bat, in a circus.  Jumping around.  Everything is actually pretty small on the screen compared to most of the platformers I have played so far.  The music is circusy and annoying. Surprised to see Iguana as the developer.  Let's see how it goes!

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Played for:  15 minutes

Yeah, I really don't remember this, so it was either the sequel, or I've always just seen the game sitting there so often, I assumed I played it.  Really isn't that fun, sadly.  It looks like it could be, but the gliding is weird.  It's either up angle or down angle, and if you hit the ground, you just slide along it.  You can't jump on bad guys.  There are a couple neat circus themed items to interact with, but otherwise, I just didn't really have fun playing it.  The main goal of the first level is just to find 7 star platforms and jump on them until they disappear.  Doesn't make sense, and again, just isn't that fun.  The second level was different, at least.  But I hit Game Over, and it kicked me all the way back to the first level, so screw it, I'm done.

Hit it or Quit it?
Quit it.  Not as "Quit it" as a lot of the other platformers I've been playing, but I don't see any reason to come back to this one again.  Maybe the sequel will turn out better!

Aero Fighters - SNES

Year: 1993
Developer: McO'River (!?)

First Glance
Top down flying shooter!  First one I've done so far, so hopefully this will be fun.  Demo scenes are pretty short, but it seems pretty standard.  I have no idea who the developer is, but I do see a lot of Japanese names in the credits.  Not much else to say except it's top down, airplanes, bullets and bombs.  Here we go!

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Played for:  15 minutes

Hm, wasn't bad.  Was actually more Bullet Hell than I was expecting.  I think the biggest problem is just that Bullet Hell only works so well on SNES digital controls.  I'm sure more than just this one game exist, and I'm sure with practice, it gets better, but it's just really hard to maneuver between those tight spaces with a digital 4-way pad.  Looks like you can play 2-player simultaneous though, and I bet that's fun.  Otherwise, it's so standard that there's not really much to talk about.  Shoot the other planes, don't get hit, use your bombs, upgrade your weapon.  But the upgrades aren't anything special.  Actually, I will go try a different plane and see if I notice anything.

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Played for:  Another 20 minutes

Alright, looks like one time through for only 15 minutes wasn't quite enough to give this game justice. I can't say I will always take every game from every angle, but this one slipped through.  The different planes do have different types of shots.  They aren't really game-changing different, but the bombs definitely have different attack styles.  Also, playing as different planes alters the order in which you play the levels, which keeps it interesting.

Hit it or Quit it?
Well, I already did go back for seconds on this one, but I would still hit it again.  I'm not sure I would have after the first round, but the second round definitely showed it had some interesting bits to it, and that with a little practice, it did get easier to handle the d-pad.  I don't know how much more I would go back for, since there are a billioon Bullet Hell/Top-down shooters to play, but I could already feel myself getting better enough at this one that I could at least take another run at it.

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends - SNES

Year: 1993
Publisher:  THQ
Developer: Imagineering INC

First Glance
I had to restart the game and pause on the info screen because there is no splash screens telling me who was involved with this game.  I have a feeling that's going to be a bad sign.  Also, there's no demo footage, just the standard Rocky and Bullwinkle title screen with Rocky flying around.  I never really liked this show that much, so I'm not expecting much.  Especially with what little I have been able to learn so far about the game.

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Played for: 20 minutes

So, this is another first, and I bet won't be the last.  Before playing this, I didn't think that I had played it before.  Pretty quickly though, the memories started flooding back, and I totally have played this game before.. and my memories seem to think I've played it quite a bit.  Like I owned it or rented it a lot or something.  The catch is, my memories don't seem to think I was holding a SNES controller though, so that's probably why I didn't remember.  I'm betting I played it on the Genesis.  Either way, I definitely think I played it a lot.  It was sooo familiar.  Bonking Bullwinkle's head on rocks, gathering and throwing berries, climbing up the mountain in the first level, etc.

That aside, and for whatever nostalgia is affecting my opinion, it actually isn't too bad.  It's tricky, but not annoying tricky like most of the platformers have been thus far.  It feels like when you made a mistake, it was your fault for not seeing it coming, not remembering it was there, or just plan not paying attention.

Also, even though I don't really like Rocky and Bullwinkle, the intro scene was pretty entertaining.  Lots of broken 4th wall stuff like they often do.  Also a "Hey, isn't this how our Game Boy game started?" was pretty funny.

There are a couple mini-games you can play before the level to get an extra life before you go in, and that was super familar too.  So much, that I killed it, and totally got my extra life.  I wonder how much more would seem familiar if I kept going.  I seem to remember playing it alot, but I really doubt I actually made it too far into the game.

Graphics are pretty good, though the animation is a little choppy.  Controls are pretty good.  Precision jumping is tricky, but it usually is.  Could definitely be worse though.

Hit it or Quit it?
Surprisingly, I would actually hit it again.  Probably not as a first choice, but if it fell into the bed, I wouldn't kick it out.  Would be interesting to see how far into the game my memories actually go.

The Adventures of Kid Kleets - SNES

Year: 1994
Publisher: Ocean
Developer: Krisalis

First Glance
I have seen Ocean pop up a few times already for these reviews, and I'm pretty sure I'm usually not happy about it.  So.. it's a platformer.  Except you have a soccer ball.  Except only sometimes, when you can keep it with you.  Looks like you can do a bunch of tricks with it, like balancing on it, or using it to jump higher, or just kicking it into bad guys, but it looks like it's going to be a pain to try to get it all down.  The camera is jumping all over the place.  You're collecting random food items.  Empty hearts doesn't mean you're dead; you still have one heart.   Weird..  I'm not expecting much from this past 10 minutes of something to do.

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Played for:  6 minutes

Not even 10 minutes, and I can't stand it.  It's even worse than I expected, and I was expecting pretty bad, considering you are trying to play a platformer while you are managing a soccer ball.  Who even thought that would be a good idea?  Oh yeah, also.  ALIENS.  How's that for a twist?  The story is that aliens took the world cup trophy, but then their spaceship got blown up, so the trophy broke and fell back to earth, in pieces, all over the globe.  "Who will find them?" they ask.  Apparently Kid Kleets is supposed to, but not while I'm playing.

The music is some cracked out carnival sounding music that just about drove me nuts.  Handling the soccer ball is a nightmare.  You kick it, but then it ends up three screens away, and you have no other attacks.  You can't take it up platforms with you.  Controlling the ball in general just makes no sense.  You only start with 3 hits, and a bunch of enemies all over the place, that you are supposed to use your shitty ball skills to kill, but it just doesn't work like that.  Thanks again, Ocean.  I will be on the lookout for you now.

Hit it or Quit it?
Quit it, and I hope they never find the stupid trophy.  And I hope someone pops this kid's ball.  I hate soccer anyways.

The Adventures of Dr. Franken - SNES

Year: 1993
Developer: MotiveTime
Publisher: DTMC

First Glance
The first thing that struck me was the demo screen music.  It's like a funky remix of some classical music.  There's a good amount of demo footage to check out as well.   Looks like you are a hip Frankenstein (Has to be since he's wearing sunglasses inside AND at night).  There's an overworld map, looks like he will be traveling all over the world.  Lots of platforming.  Has a couple kick moves to fight with.  Castles, houses, etc.  Looks like it should control decently, but that's about all I can pull from it for now, so here we go!

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Played for:  8 minutes

Nevermind.  Funny I should mention the controls, because that's one of the worst parts.  In general, Y is left attack, X is up attack, and A is right attack.  That would be fine, IF IT WAS CONSISTENT.  When you jump, your attack direction is based on the direction you are facing.  When you are running, it's based on which direction you are facing.  But when you are standing still, it's which button you press.  WTF, why would you do that!?

Also, you can jump and land on almost anything.  But not some things.  But you can't tell what, so you sometimes fall and sometimes don't.

Also, bad guys respawn, which is fine, except they don't respawn CONSISTENTLY, so you are always just turning around right into another bad guys.  And they seem to move about 4 frames for your one frame, so they are already in your hit box before you even get a chance to attack.

For as nice as the art and animation looked, it made me think they actually took some good time on this game and it would at least be a little fun, if not more than just a generic "run around the house and collect things" game.  Nope. This is why I've never heard of Motivetime, or this game.

Hit it or Quit it?
Quit it so hard that Dr Franken's super cool hip shades break and cut his eyeball.  Not that they are his eyes, but still.

The Adventures of Batman and Robin - SNES

To add just a little bit more oomph (Google Chrome doesn't think that's not a word.. weird) to these "reviews", I'm going to start tracking the year and the company(ies) that pop up on the splash screens.  Then maybe I can start to get to know who is to blame when a game is terrible, or who to look forward to when it's good.  Also, sometimes a came just comes out too early in the console's life cycle, and it never had a chance because they didn't know what they were doing yet with the hardware.  That said:

1994, Konami

Also, I think I might start giving a little "Book by the cover" judgement before I play.  Seems to fit with the theme, and considering the awesome cover that Actraiser didn't follow through on, and the trap that was Addams Family Values, it seems appropriate.  That said:

The music sounds good, but it's Batman score, so it should.  The "demo shot" is about 3 seconds of Batman punching a couple guys.  Looks like boring level designs, running from left to right.  Punch/Kick repeating enemies, get to the boss that's probably too hard to care to beat.  Maybe you get to use Robin, not that it would make you the game any cooler.. who wants to be Robin?  I'm also betting there won't be anything cool in the way or Batman gadgets.  The art and animation actually look pretty good though.  Let's see what happens!

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Played for:  15 minutes

Alright, well.. Boy, was I wrong.  I guess after a week of shitty, can't-stand-them games, I was jaded and assumed the worst.  I should have known Konami could put out a good game.  That 3 second demo scene certainly did not do the game justice.  First of all, there ARE gadgets!  A bunch of them actually.  It's like the game slapped me in the face with them for trying to think there wouldn't be.  They all don't matter that much at the beginning of the game, but they are there.  There are so many moves, too.  Rolling, wall-jumping, throwing, grappling with your hookshot.  It's just plain fun to play because there is so much to do.  The bad guys weren't annoying, and they went down easy.  The level design so far was pretty fun.

There's actually a story and some direction, unlike most of the games so far,  There should be with Batman, but I was worried they would just leave you hanging, assuming what's going on.

The only reason I stopped now is because of this crazy scene with the Joker while you are RIDING ON A ROLLER COASTER.  WTF!  That's only like the 2nd level too.

Graphics/Animation are awesome, the music keeps you pumped, the cut scenes are entertaining.  It controls great, there's a bunch of stuff to do.  I will definitely say this was quite the surprise.

Hit it or Quit it?
I don't know if I've got bad-game goggles on from so many horrible games before this, but I would hit again with no remorse.  It was so fun to play, I probably wouldn't even care if I didn't get any further and just played the first levels a few more times.

The Addams Family Values - SNES

Played for: 15 minutes

On the up side, this game is totally different than the first two.  On the down side, that doesn't make it any better.

I was so excited to see it was some kind of top-down wander around adventure.  It actually even looks a lot like Link to the Past, with the rain effects and the art style.  That excitement was quickly dashed.

I found some stairs and went down and shot my electricity (!?) at a plant and killed it (!?!?).  I don't remember the movie much, so I don't know if it makes sense that he has electricity, but I'm guessing it doesn't.  As you use it more, it gets shorter, like he's losing charge.  But it doesn't seem to recharge either.  I don't know.  Anyways.  Killed the plant, and moved on.  The grandma gave me some cookies.  Another plant gave me a skull key and told me to find the rose.  I've been doing everything I can think of and I just can't find the rose.  Also, I just don't care.  Movement is slow and annoying, there's no direction on what happen

The game seems to use way more buttons than it needs to to do simple things.  One button talks, but another button activates, but another button uses items or something?  I'm not sure.  Even if I knew, I don't think this would be any better.

Hit it or Quit it?
Quit it.  This game is a trap.  Looked good at first, buy it dinner, take it home, but by the time you make it downstairs, there's a penis.  Again, somehow I'm left longing for the first game, and that's a bad sign.

The Addams Family 2 - Pugley's Scavenger Hunt

Played for: 15 minutes

Somehow, in one year, they managed to turn the first game into something so much worse..  It looks like the same engine underneath, except suckier.  The controls feel even looser, the animations are gross, and the game makes no sense.  Pugsley is ugly as hell, and his sprite and animations seriously turn my stomach a little bit.  He looks like Dennis the Menace's deformed cousin.

Also, the sounds are ridiculous.  It's like Fart: The Game.  Everything you jump on splurts away with a fart sound.

The levels are random piles of confusing garbage.  You can gather points randomly from just jumping to random spots in the air. Blocks appear out of nowhere.  Background objects looks like platforms you can jump on, but can't, and end up falling into the death-hole.  It just make no sense, and is frustrating to even try.

On the plus side, they give you three hits now, instead of two.  That's good.. right?

Hit it or Quit it?
Quit it.  Quit it so hard.  I would rather play the first one again.  I'm so looking forward to the third one...

The Addams Family - SNES

Played for:  15 minutes

The Thing animation at the beginning is pretty cool, and then it just went downhill from here.  For being a platformer, the controls are super loose.  If you take 2 steps, you are running so fast, you slide.  The hit boxes are unforgiving and you are left wondering why you got hit this time, but not last time.  The jump distance for how long you press the button is super sensitive, and almost unpredictable.  Lots of bad guys, and you only get two hits. 

You find weapons every now and then, which really help, until you get hit and lose them.  When found, the best tactic seemed to be Continue's ABS tactic: Always Be Shooting. 

Also, you are collecting money when you are supposed to be finding your family, but I'm not yet sure why.  

Overall, it's just hard, but I can't tell if it's my impatience or just a bad game.  With practice, it probably gets better, but there still is some stupid level design/enemy placement all over the place, so I don't know.

Hit it or Quit it?

Quit it.  Unless I found out that by beating it, you get to see Morticia's boobs.  But even then, her nipples would probably have teeth or something.