Heart of the Planet (Flash)

I was wondering how I was going to decide on my next game on Kongregate without being biased by Recommendations or ones that I know already looked good or bad.  I searched for "Random Game" and it looks like someone made something to pick a random game from the site.  And this is what I got....

Hit it or Quit it?

Year: 2010 -- Developer: ??? -- Site: Flonga (via Kongegrate)

First Impression:  

The description is "Help her reach the heart of the planet to save the world from evil".  A little generic..  Controls:  "Arrows to move, x to shoot".  Okay, I'm thinking something like a top-down shooter?  Except the tag is "Action" so who knows.

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Fooled around for: 5 minutes

Ugh.. Been a while since I really couldn't last longer than 5 minutes.  This is what happens with random flash games.  It's basically a Mario rip-off.  But there's no story explaining anything.  Literally just "Level 1" right when the game loads.  The controls are super loose, sliding all over the place.  The left arrow overrides the right arrow, no matter which was pressed first, so you find yourself turning when you didn't want to.  This also makes the whole platforming aspect super hard, but not because it's hard, just because it's not made well.  I guess eating a mushroom to get big in Mario doesn't make much sense either, but in this it's a carrot.  And then some random shape for "fireballs".  Big You breaks blocks, there are stars for coins, and you jump on pigs instead of carrots.  You could literally just remake Mario in this engine and everything would be there. Except the fun.

Also the music is annoying and a very short loop.

The ONLY thing this game has going for it was the art assets are actually not that bad.  Some of the textures are pretty good, but they don't match the hand-drawn sprites, and it's all probably just ripped off from somewhere else around the internet.

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Hit it or Quit it?

In case it wasn't apparent, quit it.  Reading the reviews on Kongregate, it seems everyone else agrees.  Shoddy controls on an otherwise ripped-off, but still incredibly vague platformer.  Mayyybe this was a first game/demo kind of deal for them to get used to making games, but I don't have much hope for anything else that pops up by this developer.

It looks like Flonga is just a website for Flash games, so I don't even know who to blame for this....